For years—decades, even—I’ve read people complaining about the fakes, the phonies, the spammers, and all the other baddies online to take advantage of people just trying to make a match on a dating site.

However, in my time managing adult sites and communities, the ones who complain the most loudly are the ones who almost refuse to report them, until they’ve been had.

In fact, I’ve had people who have been taken for $$ contact me about another account created BY THE SAME SCAMMER that had been taken down, when they were int he middle of a conversation, being led down the exact same path (with a different backdrop, of course).

I know most dating sites not only allow the phonies and multiple profiles, they sublty encourage them, and don’t allow deletion by mods.

Why, then?

If the public hates the fake profiles and getting taken over and over, why do sites allow them?

Well, laziness is a factor, sure. It’s hard work keeping up.

But there’s more.


All those lying profiles with photos stolen from Instagram models… well, when a member gets a message from one of those, with flattering words, it makes them happy.

It also pads the membership. It LOOKS like there are 10X as many people on the site as there are.


Actually, more like 7.3X

Because that was the average on one site I worked on. One in seven profiles was authentic.


And when I’ve deleted scammer on my site within 24 hours, they have had as many as 17 conversations going WHILE I DELETE THEM.

When the profile photo and the content of the profile don’t match and the speech is terrible English (but they live in Lakeland, FL).

17 people who could have easily reported that profile, except for the hope that some gorgeous guy with smoldering eyes and chiseled abs or some sweet young thing with beautiful pouty lips and perfectly style and professionally taken photos really wanted them, to travel to meet them and to own them or be theirs…

2 Responses to “Fakes & Phonies — The Good & The Bad…”

  1. Mulahad

    I’m sure I’m not the first one to admit that once you get used to people trying to get one over on you and you recognize that, you tend to just move on and block that person instead of reporting it. Most sites I’ve been on have such a function of anonymity to them that it would be hard to make someone prove they’re real. And they also don’t seem to care whether the person is who they say they are or not. Got an email? Sure you can make an account! lol

    Honestly, this is the first site I’ve seen that had a verification you could do based on facial recognition between two pics of yourself. So that’s nice.
    And if reporting is encouraged more, I think you’ll see it done more.
    I hope it happens less, but I doubt that’s gonna be the case.

    Thanks for opening up a conversation on this.


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