So, I had to warn a member this past week, because they’d been reported for being a jerkface.

Essentially, they had been pushy and violated someone’s boundaries because they wanted to see full-body photos before continuing the conversation, and the other person did not feel comfortable sending that much (especially on demand) to someone until they had talked for a while.

So, you have two people, both right:

Person A: Wanted to see full body pics first.

Person B: Wanted to talk for a while before sending private photos.

So, the issue comes when one chooses to be less-than-nice about the other’s decision, because, well, pushing the boundaries of a stranger is not cool. Not even a little.

So, how do you handle this? Simple. Simply walk away. It’s a mismatch.


Yup. Just walk away. Or, in this case, click away.

“Thank you so much for you’re time. I guess we’re not a match. Best of luck to you in your search.”


What if you don’t want to say goodbye? Well, that’s a bit tougher, but still pretty easy: Choose to abide by their boundaries.

See? Easy-peasy.

Is it EVER OK to browbeat a stranger online into doing something for you? Well, let’s look at a few examples:

  • You want them to call you sir/ma’am, they don’t want to until they know you better. OK to browbeat them? NO.
  • You want to skype with them, to see their face or hear their voice. They are not comfortable with that. All right to keep pushing? NO.
  • They have turned you down and you want another chance. They say no. Acceptable to keep trying? NO.

In fact, I can’t think of a single example when it would be OK.

You have your boundaries, they have theirs. If they don’t match, simply let it go and move on.

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