13 Responses to “What Does Dating Kinky Mean To You?”

  1. Selene73

    Three things I want most…1.

    Top three needs…1. Inclusive 2. Real people 3. Genuine connections

    Top questions about kinky dating…1. staying safe 2. finding genuine people 3.acceptance within your kinks

    What is something that you think nearly everyone into kinky dating is wrong about? One Twue Way about any aspects of kink.

    Reply
  2. Amatarasu

    I can’t necessarily speak for everyone, obviously, but for me, 1. If you are kinky and single and don’t want to be single it is an actual dating site, not a lifestyle site, where you can meet other people that are also looking for a kinky partner. 2. Not many other dating sites are completely dedicated to helping you match your kink style with other people that also have a particular kink style, having previously used OKC, and not being a person interested in fast fucks for fun, I found myself inundated with folks just looking for casual hook ups, that is not what I want, if I am going to be dating, it is for the purpose of finding an actual relationship that will last, some sites are specifically for that but don’t include kink and if it’s even mentioned some sites will even disqualify you. 3. Kink is already an acceptable part of who you are on a kinky dating site, because the other people on it, are kinky too, so it is not a taboo subject that will scare a potential partner away!

    My first need: Is a venue that allows me to meet like minded “actually available” people.
    Second: No judgements about NOT being poly and kinky, and a good selection of potential partners of similar orientations.
    Third: The ability to look at potential partners without having to explain that I was just looking to see if they matched some of my must have criteria, and without being obligated to message.

    Questions:
    I saw DK advertised as being the dating site for poly people, I am not poly and won’t date someone poly, is that a problem?

    I wonder if there is any way to vet folks as actually being single and not cheating? (I don’t really think there is, but well…it would be nice if people were really honest.)

    Is there a way to find complimentary partners, not just partners that have the same or similar interests, I like to tie men to the bed and tease them for a bit before riding them and putting them away wet….I am not opposed to someone doing the same to me, but it seems I am matched most often with those that would NEVER consent to being topped by a woman, rather than folks that would enjoy switching now and then.

    I would like to be able to look at profiles without someone seeing that I have looked at them, some folks think because I looked I must be interested…not everything pretty on the outside is pretty on the inside…or matches my tastes beyond looks, I don’t want to encourage contact from people that don’t really have anything but looks to offer.

    Is there a specific matching system that is used to make good matches?

    Is there a way to match monogamous people with other monogamous people on the site?

    What do I think everyone into dating kinky is wrong about?
    Hmm, tough one, I am not a mind reader as to what others think. But I think perhaps that many folks think it’s an easy pick up play, or way to find people for fast easy nsa sex, and I don’t think that is the sole purpose of dating kinky. I think that finding someone to actually be in a relationship with in the vanilla world is tough, someone that has the qualities and complimentary nature to make a good relationship with and still find a deep intimacy with and attraction for is not easy, then add the fact that you are kinky to that, the equation just got exponentially more complex.

    I also think that the general populace has a very negative perception of kink…when I truly believe that the majority of folks in the world have some inclination toward kink from mild to wild, or some fetish or fantasy involving kink they may think is impossible to have, so they relegate it to their fantasy world rather than trying to actually find a partner that would like to try that…but they don’t recognize it as kinky, they associate kink with the things they have seen in porn, or the 50 shades of nonsense. So those are things I think folks may be mistaken about.

    PS. Glad you are feeling better, I am sick this week…we really need to stop transmitting DK flu viruses around…don’t you think…LOL!!?

    Reply
    • NookieNotes

      I saw DK advertised as being the dating site for poly people, I am not poly and won’t date someone poly, is that a problem?

      Nope. Not at all. In fact, that is one of the things we’re specifically working on for our search, the filtering so you can filter out (or in) anything as a factor.

      We are a dating site for poly people, mono people, kinky people, queer people, trans people, bi people, curious people… The idea being that whatever your orientations, we will welcome you and help you find your connections.

      There is just not enough acceptance, I think.

      I wonder if there is any way to vet folks as actually being single and not cheating?

      Not really. I’ve been toying with this idea.

      Once thing I am doing is focusing on honesty. So, for example, we allow pros, as long as they are honest in their profiles.

      I am not going to be able to, nor do I want to remove every cheater (I can’t judge their lives), but if someone is cheating, I will (eventually) be able to lock their profile relationship style to “discreet,” so that there is a way for those who are open to that to connect, and those who are not to avoid.

      Is there a way to find complimentary partners, not just partners that have the same or similar interests

      Yes. This is part of what We’re working on with the new search and match.

      I would like to be able to look at profiles without someone seeing that I have looked at them

      Our supporting members can do this, and that will be a part of the new site.

      Is there a way to match monogamous people with other monogamous people on the site?

      Not yet, but that is a part of the new search and matching.

      Thank you for your thoughts on misconceptions. I agree on both of those. *smiles*

      Reply
  3. seeker

    I think Amatarasu has stated it very precisely. You just have to be honest in your profile and hope others are honest in theirs as well. I don’t know that I have anything else to new to add other than I was lucky enough NOT to see 50 shades of whatever. I’m confused enough, I’m sure and that might have started something totally strange. I don’t know where you all are and being sick, but it’s supposed to be sunny and 80-85 here tomorrow. So, “Hugs, kisses, luv ya, mean it, stay there!” I don’t want to be sick. I’m headed to the beach with my twisted little thoughts. Just remember, sex on the beach is not romantic…………somebody’s getting sand up their ass!

    Reply
    • NookieNotes

      LOL! It’s beautiful here, too… I didn’t get sick from weather. I got a stomach bug of some sort. Bleh. I’m much better, just trying to catch up to everything.

      *smiles*

      Reply
  4. Anthony Harris

    Top 3 things. 1)Meeting like minded people, which it is. And I’ve been talking to someone I’ve met online from here. 🙂
    2)Maybe offering a category of local kink events. 3)options of creating a gallery of pictures and the choice to like and comment. Like other kinky sites, fet shouldn’t get all the fun.
    Really this is all i have to say. The app does lag a little still. People should also have to add a photo to complete a profile.

    Reply
  5. Timothy McCusker

    The top 3 things I’m hoping for from this site: 1-Being able to express my likes without being judged. Even on a lot of the sex type dating sites, as soon as i describe what i like/am into/am interested in trying, I scare off whomever i’m conversing with, or they have some derogatory remark to make. 2- I’m hoping to learn about new(to me) kinks. I get bored with the norm, so I’m always looking for something new to ponder and/or try. 3- I want to be on a site that won’t bleed me dry! some of these sites charge a lot for what they offer. i’ve found more often than not that they are full of fake profiles, or site generated entertainment bots. If i want to be entertained, i’ll go to a porn site!

    Reply
    • NookieNotes

      Thank you!

      One thing I am doing on Dating Kinky that other sites don’t do, it moderating for rudeness. If you do get someone being rude, please let the team know. I have a message that says:

      So, the word we’re hearing is that you’re not being very nice.

      It’s just one report right now, so it’s not going to impact you at this time, however, do keep in mind that enough reports will get your account put on suspension.

      Thank you for your understanding, and keeping Dating Kinky friendly!

      Good luck finding your match.


      Dating Kinky Team

      Reply
  6. MissV

    Convince a friend to Join DK: 1. If you’ve reached the “Why bother dating, because vanilla just won’t do” point, then, join DK where you can know if they share your kinks before you even say hello. 2. If you only seem to meet kinksters who are unavailable or incompatible for dating/play/sex/whatever at events, then join DK to meet kinksters who are available and looking for someone just like you. 3. If you are looking for friends, dates, or sex partners who are kinky and they know it, then clap your hands and join DK. LOL.

    Top 3 needs: A really good search function with changeable search criteria. The ability to limit / block initial contacts from all site members who are not my preferred matches: Dominant, top, poly, married, etc. The freedom to express my interests while maintaining a bit of privacy.

    Questions about kinky dating: (My questions are in regard to non-sexual kinks such as bondage or impact or even fetish clothing/items.) 1. If someone has experience with play partners, but is new to combining kink and dating, then how does that someone go about balancing dating and kink play while still getting to know each other? 2. If someone has experience with play partners, but the person they are dating is a newbie, then how does that someone go about balancing between dating and kink play while still getting to know each other? 3. If someone is new to kink, then how does that someone go about incorporating kink play with dating while still getting to know each other?

    Nearly everyone is wrong about?: Many people seem to have the idea that kinky means dtf in unsafe manner with complete strangers. (That may apply to some, but not the majority.) Instead, kinky is an umbrella term for all kinds of things that don’t even involve actual sex, including relationship dynamics.

    Reply
  7. Mistress Melissa

    For me the needs start off simple. Is there anyway that we can have some type of error message for not loading a picture??? I know that we couldn’t lock someone out for that, or that some people will use fake photos, but is there anyway to attempt to get a legit photo.
    Also, I am having a problem seeing the profiles from the message center

    Reply
    • NookieNotes

      I’m not sure I’m following you. What do you mean when you say:

      Is there anyway that we can have some type of error message for not loading a picture???

      Thanks! *smiles*

      Reply

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