This one is pretty easy, really. What would you do face to face? I recognize that society has coarsened recently, but, “Da-Yum Bitch!’ is still met with disdain.
Dating Kinky and other kinky sites are just places to find people with similar
You still have to start with step one… “Hello, how are you?”
It seems that some people think that just because we’re all on a kinky site that we can skip all the preliminaries and just go in for a grab to the genitals.
Imagine, if you will, standing in a room, having a pleasant evening. You turn around, and suddenly there is a hand getting very familiar with your crotch, and a random person asking you if you have ever masturbated with Hubba Bubba.
Truly. Sometimes it’s like that. There’s a mosquitoes dude that’s famous on CS for his bizarre first messages.
So, yeah, “Hello, how are you?”
Reading the profile and finding something to mention is a GOODTHING™.
For example, “I saw that you’re near the ocean and love dogs. I had a Blue Heeler that surfed when I was younger.”
Intelligent and friendly questions about their profile will also get you points, “I noticed you love cuddling. Would you rate yourself as a beginner, enthusiastic amateur, intermediate, or WWF Grand Champion level cuddler?”
And do check out the photos, of course. They are there to be seen. However, there is no need to actually mention them. If you want to mention a photo, choose one you really realted on a level that is not overtly sexual. “Nice tits!” or the like could be reserved until after you’ve gotten to know each other a bit.
In the first message, protocol is unnecessary, but do use common courtesy. No need to do slashy speak, D/s caps, or even honorifics. Write to them using their screen name, and ask how they like to be addressed, and you’re golden.
If they have a specific way they require you to speak to or address them, you will know soon enough.
And please, don’t send unsolicited nudity. I know you hear it all the time from women, but I know quite a few men who are also very NOT interested in seeing your golden honey pot or barnyard foul until they have gotten past the greetings.
And, well, if you’re one of those who gets the rooster pic, perhaps this will help: