Your Cock Versus My Cock


Your Cock Vs. My Cock

As I typed the title, I realized that this could be taken as a comparison rant, wherein I discuss the amazing cocks I can have and fuck with versus the one you men are born with…

But it’s not.

It’s about real life fleshy cocks, and what to do with them, and more importantly, when.

Yes, this is about cock shots. And receiving them. And why the cock you are so proud of—and may well have been told is a perfectly splendid example of manhood—is just not getting you very far when it comes to the ladies.

It’s very simple.

When you waggle your cock at me, in photos, it is your cock.

I am not that interested in your cock. No more than I am interested in your grapes, your Spiderman bed sheets, or your new X-Box.

Because they are yours, and I don’t know you, therefore those things offer no real benefit to my life.

Interestingly enough, though, I get cock shots quite regularly that I enjoy. Nay, that I love. In fact, as the D in my relationship, I require them. Daily.

MY cock, I love.

And I don’t mean just because I am the D, and I claim that cock for my very own. I mean because I have a connection to and a relationship with that cock. I know how it responds to me, how it hardens and twitches in my hand, how it feels going down my throat, how it hits the sensitive bits inside of me, how it fits me so perfectly, and so on.

When I see a pic of my cock, I connect all of those wonderful, positive, amazing things to it. I get all warm and fuzzy feeling inside. I get wet and squishy down below. My heart swells and my mouth salivates.

Obviously, I love cock.

But I don’t love your cock. Because it’s your cock. Not mine.

When I see a picture of your cock, I get… nothing. Really.

It may be an impressive cock. I could even say so, “Wow! That’s an impressive cock!”

But I have nothing more. I don’t know if your cock is really any good at satisfying me. I don’t know if you’ll smell good or taste delicious. I don’t FEEL anything for your cock.

And I’m turned off. I didn’t ask for your cock, and here it is, staring me in the eye, rudely, a perfect stranger of a cock barging uninvited into my life.

This is why so many women say that it’s best to not send a cock shot to a potential interest, or to at least wait until one is requested.

Because, like me, they want to see a cock they have a connection to, or hope to have a connection to. A cock they do or may claim as their own (regardless of which side of the slash they are on).

Not your cock.

Some people are straightforward. They are uncomplicated in their desires and needs. They can say “I am ____,” and mean it, without waffling.

And then, there are people like me.

People whose favorite answer to questions is often, “Well, yes and no,” or who not only know the word ‘dichotomy,’ but often embody it.

Like this young lady who wrote to me:

“I am two different sides. Monogamous, cutie who loves normal chat and more than just sex, Online slut who is nasty pervy mind.”

She was asking how she can portray that to find the right fit of partner for her.

It can be a complex task. It took me years of interacting online to understand how to communicate who I am and what I look for, but I’ve found a formula that works for me.

It’s a simple formula:

Statement of Fact
The Opposite (or seeming opposite) + How It Happens

So, for the young lady above, I might suggest she write:

“I’m monogamous and loving, sweet as candy, full of cuddles and smiles and with the right man who really gains my trust, I can be a delicious slut who craves perversions to get a ‘good girl’ from his lips.”

Statement of Fact: I’m monogamous and loving, sweet as candy, full of cuddles and smiles

The Opposite: I can be a delicious slut who craves perversions to get a ‘good girl’ from his lips.

How It Happens: with the right man who really gains my trust

Here are a few from my own life and profiles:

“I rock a pair of 4″+ heels like nobody’s business, but I can trip over a speck of dust on flat ground.”

“I am a primarily dominant woman. I do switch in sexual play, and I enjoy it, with the right people.”

“I am not shy about sexuality, but I’m not an easy fuck. If you are simply looking for panties to get into, move on.”

“I love being pampered and treated like a princess, but when a friend asks me to help install a tin roof, I’m there, and running the show.”

And it also works when talking about negative things, and showing hte positive side:

“I run like an asthmatic sloth. Don’t ask me to run marathons with you, but a good hike is always fun!”

Or when talking about what you’re looking for:

“I like a man who likes to take control and knows his way around the bedroom and ultimately wants to love a strong woman who prefer to be in charge.”


You can make a lot of points about yourself, touching on many different unique factors of seemingly disparate pieces of you, while crafting a profile that shows off your personality and states exactly who you are and what you’re looking for.

How about you? Do you have any dichotomies? Are you willing to try your hand at this?

OMG! I’m totally stoked about this new feature that I’ve been working on for weeks.

A lot of sites have an interests “checklist,” or a fetishes option. I’ve rarely found them useful in connecting to others, but I’ve always thought they could be. That’s where my idea for this project came from.

A personalized list of kinks, fetishes, hobbies, and vanilla interests that would allow us to find each other more easily, discuss what we like, and connect on different levels.

Here’s a quick video showing you how it works to make it even easier to connect with amazing people on Dating Kinky! If you’d prefer to keep reading (instead of watching), I’ll explain below.

The way Kinks & Interests work on Dating Kinky is a simple process, but so powerful!

  1. Add a kink, fetish, hobby, or vanilla interest. If it’s an existing kink, it will auto-complete for you.
  2. Choose your interest level(s): I Top/Give, I Bottom/Receive, I Switch, I Watch, Must Have, I Like/I Enjoy, Interested In/Curious About, Hard Limit—You may select none, one, or several of these.
  3. If it’s a new addition to our kink list, it will be sent to admin/moderators for approval.
  4. Your approved Kinks/Interests show up on your profile, and are visible to others. They are easily sorted by the icons related to your interest levels.
  5. Click on any Kink/Interest to take you to the wiki page to see (or add) a definition, other kinksters who have added it to their profiles, and discuss the Kink/Interest and what it means to you.

Not only did I build this to connect us more easily and effectively on a wide variety of topics that could never be coded in to a limited drop-down menu, but also to encourage the Dating Kinky community to create our own reference to the Kinks and Interests we enjoy and love to talk about.

I hope you’ll try it out, and send feedback. Right now, this is available on the web app, but we’re working on adding it to the mobile apps as well.

Sooooo super-excited!

If you’re a female on a dating site, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You know, when William sends a photo of “Little Willy,” instead of saying “Hello, my name is ____, and I think you’re fabulous. I’d really love to get to know you and…”

While there is a bright side—you now know he’s not worth even another second of your time—it’s annoying and frustrating, and sometimes you just wish you had the perfect thing to say…

Well, Sarah-Louise Jordan DID have the perfect thing to say, and Dating Kinky has put her HILARIOUS and cheeky response into a video just for you.

(Note, the video is a bit colorful with it’s language, I’d rate it NC-17.)

Now, you not only have the PERFECT thing to say, with illustrative graphics, but if you’re one of our members, it’s also a “Quick Reply” on our web app (coming soon for mobile), so you can send it with the touch of a button!

Now, if only we can figure out to the messages that just say, “hey.”


What Is Kinky?

If you go to google right now and type in “define kinky,” you’ll get the following two definitions:

1. involving or given to unusual sexual behavior.
2. having kinks or twists.

At Dating Kinky, I going with my own definition that combines the two, and throws in a bit more for fun:

Kinky is something greater than the straight and narrow, a flexibility, in how you view and navigate the world.

Kinky is different than your average person, opened up to more possibilities, especially (but not necessarily) in relation to sex.

I am grateful for my kinkiness, and I welcome yours!

So, obviously, dyed-in-the-wool kinksters are welcome there, but who else ‘makes the cut?’

BDSM? Willkommen.
Alternative lifestyles, like poly? Bienvenue.
Swinging? Welcome.
LGBTQ and all the other letters that don’t fit easily into a box? C’mon in.

Even allies and friends of all the kinky people, who just prefer to play a bit outside their comfort zone. You are definitely welcome. I am doing my best to make a site that is welcoming and safe for all, friendly, and full of connections.

Even more, I am focused on offering options that allow you to be YOU, online as you are off. From a wider gender selection to greater options for matching up with potential playmates, I’m passionate about giving you the tools you need to find and be found for kinktastic fun.


So, sign up at Dating Kinky! It’s free.

I look forward to seeing you there!

P.S. When I say free, I mean everything you need to meet others is absolutely free and will always be. We do have paid options, because we want to continue growing and making this site even better, and that takes the green, however, those are perks and are NOT needed to enjoy this site. At all. Period.

So, yeah, I’ve did this thing.

After years of being kinky and frustrated by the sites out there to meet people outside of my regular circles, I finally did something about it.

I created Dating Kinky.


And I’mma brag about it BIG TIME, because, well, I’m super-proud, and this is my profile, where I can do shit like that.

Anyway, Some of you know, others may not, but I’ve moderated at quite a few adult social and dating sites over the years, even built a handful (miss the Grotto!), and I know what the biggest requests are for sites that connect others, and I’m shoving them all into my version.

#1. It’s free.

Like FetLife, it’s free to use. Also like FetLife, we will have ads and a support option (less pricey than other dating sites). MOST people will use it free all the time.

#2. Gender Friendly

Many genders to choose from, and preferred pronouns.

#3. Poly Friendly.

POLY friendly: Individual AND couple/family profiles, you can also add relationship status as partnered, and relationship styles, including poly, open, swinger, etc. Also: REAL couple/family profiles.

#4. Double-approved relationships.

Link your partners, and they approve before the link goes live. EITHER partner can remove the relationship at any time!

#4. One-Click Decline and Block.

Sends a nice message saying you’re not a match and blocks the other person. No more snotty replies!

#5. Optional Photo Verification.

Get verified to prove that you look like your photos. Or not—it’s completely optional!

#6. Instant Messaging.

Chat instantly with others online.

#7. Well, It’s A Dating Site, So…

The usual: matching, searching, messaging, flirting & more.

#8. Sexy Fun eCards to Send.

Take your flirting up a level with built-in NookieNotes eCards!

#9. D/s, BDSM and Kink Roles

Searchable, and you can choose more than one identifier for your own searching and finding.

#10. Mobile Apps.

Coming soon. We’re working on them! Sooooo exciting.

I’ll be 100% honest: The site is NOT optimized perfectly for mobile, yet. Still working on that. It’s best on a desktop. However, we’re making do and people are STILL loving the site!

See, here’s our first hot picture testimonial:


Anyway, I just had to tell ya’ll, as today is the first OFFICIAL promotion day (I’ve been doing some here and there…

I hope you’ll join, and tell me what you think!

Also, feel free to follow/friend our new FL page: