Some people are straightforward. They are uncomplicated in their desires and needs. They can say “I am ____,” and mean it, without waffling.

And then, there are people like me.

People whose favorite answer to questions is often, “Well, yes and no,” or who not only know the word ‘dichotomy,’ but often embody it.

Like this young lady who wrote to me:

“I am two different sides. Monogamous, cutie who loves normal chat and more than just sex, Online slut who is nasty pervy mind.”

She was asking how she can portray that to find the right fit of partner for her.

It can be a complex task. It took me years of interacting online to understand how to communicate who I am and what I look for, but I’ve found a formula that works for me.

It’s a simple formula:

Statement of Fact
AND/BUT
The Opposite (or seeming opposite) + How It Happens

So, for the young lady above, I might suggest she write:

“I’m monogamous and loving, sweet as candy, full of cuddles and smiles and with the right man who really gains my trust, I can be a delicious slut who craves perversions to get a ‘good girl’ from his lips.”

Statement of Fact: I’m monogamous and loving, sweet as candy, full of cuddles and smiles

The Opposite: I can be a delicious slut who craves perversions to get a ‘good girl’ from his lips.

How It Happens: with the right man who really gains my trust

Here are a few from my own life and profiles:

“I rock a pair of 4″+ heels like nobody’s business, but I can trip over a speck of dust on flat ground.”

“I am a primarily dominant woman. I do switch in sexual play, and I enjoy it, with the right people.”

“I am not shy about sexuality, but I’m not an easy fuck. If you are simply looking for panties to get into, move on.”

“I love being pampered and treated like a princess, but when a friend asks me to help install a tin roof, I’m there, and running the show.”

And it also works when talking about negative things, and showing hte positive side:

“I run like an asthmatic sloth. Don’t ask me to run marathons with you, but a good hike is always fun!”

Or when talking about what you’re looking for:

“I like a man who likes to take control and knows his way around the bedroom and ultimately wants to love a strong woman who prefer to be in charge.”

See?

You can make a lot of points about yourself, touching on many different unique factors of seemingly disparate pieces of you, while crafting a profile that shows off your personality and states exactly who you are and what you’re looking for.

How about you? Do you have any dichotomies? Are you willing to try your hand at this?